Rashi explains (13:3) that on the trip back up to Eretz Yisroel, Avrohom
lodged at the same establishments as when he first went down to Mitzrayim,
and that this instructs us in proper derech eretz: One should not change
where he normally lodges when traveling a particular route. Why is this
proper derech eretz - what is wrong with switching establishments? And if
it is proper derech eretz why is it limited to lodging - why not extend it
to banking or other services?
In a banking relationship, services are provided to 'customers'
or 'clients' who have business needs. In a lodging relationship services
are provided to 'guests' who have personal needs. That the guest pays for
the personal services does not change the fact that the services rendered
are for personal needs. A business owner will not demean himself
for 'customers', but a business owner readily demeans himself
for 'guests'. Cleaning a room and serving food are personal activities
reserved for paying guests or those with whom a heightened relationship is
enjoyed, such as friends or family members. One would never expect the
bank manager to look after his dry cleaning, because he is only a
customer, not a guest. In the ordinary course a bank manager would never
be expected to do something demeaning for a customer. But if the bank
manager did feel an expectation that he was to look after the dry cleaning
the manager would feel very demeaned (not because it is not in the job
description, but rather because of the personal nature of the service in
question).
The recipient of personal guest services has an obligation to ensure that
the provider not feel demeaned. The recipient must restore the dignity of
the provider. Payment for services rendered is insufficient. (Perhaps this
is the instinct involved in tipping those who provide personal services -
waiters, barbers, baggage handlers, etc. It is a way of saying 'here is a
bit extra to demonstrate that I appreciate what you did'. This takes it
beyond the business relationship and shows that it is also personal. Once
it is personal then the provider of demeaning services is no longer
undignified - I would do anything for my personal friend or family
member.) When one receives personal guest services at an establishment and
then takes his business elsewhere the recipient is effectively saying that
it is all just a business relationship; there is nothing personal there to
which I have loyalty as I would to a friend. By going elsewhere the
recipient underscores that the relationship was all business, and that the
personal services previously provided were, in fact, demeaning to the
provider.
[This is based entirely on a shiur by HoRav Yochanan Zweig, Shlita.]
