Torah.org Home Subscribe Services Support Us
 
Successful-Chinuch

ACVHIEVING SUCCESSFUL CHINUCH –

“I WISH MY CHILD CAME WITH INSTRUCTIONS”

At my child raising lectures parents often ask me advice about a difficulty they are encountering with one of their children. Sometimes, the guidance that I offer solves their problem. However, many times, even when I give them a few different suggestions, they reply that they’ve tried all of them without success.

It’s quite obvious, that existing problems in family relationships cannot be solved in a question and answer session (or over the telephone). At times, the guidance and strategies contained in these articles can help parents with their child raising problems, or at least prevent the situation from further deteriorating. However, parents should not feel discouraged or disappointed if, after applying the principles contained in these articles, are still unsuccessful in solving their problems. Unlike physical ailments that can be treated with a regimen of medication, there are no universal formulas to solve child-raising difficulties.

Child raising problems can be compared to a heart condition that is easy to treat when diagnosed in its early stages but will require major surgery if neglected. Similarly, these problems do not usually solve themselves and, if neglected, can necessitate professional guidance.

However, by implementing the guidelines and strategies contained in these articles in the early stages of a child’s life, parents can prevent child- raising problems from developing as illustrated by the following anecdote: In the middle of a busy thoroughfare in Chelm, there was a large pit that caused injury to the townspeople, who were constantly falling into it. Although a small fence was erected around the pit to block entry to it, the people ignored it and were still stumbling into the hole. One of the town’s wise men came up with a brilliant idea: “Let’s build a hospital next to the pit to provide instant treatment for anyone who falls into it.” Upon hearing this, someone in the town exclaimed, “Fools! Why don’t you simply fill up the hole?”

During my Yeshiva years in Mesivta Rabbeinu Chaim Berlin, I was fortunate to hear vaadim from Rav Avigdor Miller. These vaadim were short talks focusing on different areas of midos improvement. After the vaad, we would be given 2-3 weeks to work on that particular mida before proceeding onto the next one.

I think that this same method would be ideal for parents. Parents should choose a section on a specific topic and work together to apply and implement the principles or techniques. (At times they may need guidance and assistance from someone experienced in child-raising problems in helping them implement the techniques.)

Only after parents have somewhat succeeded in a particular area, should they proceed further.


Text Copyright © 2008 by Rabbi Chaim Morgenstern and Torah.org


 

ARTICLES ON VAESCHANAN AND TU BEAV:

View Complete List

Sight and Insight
Rabbi Naftali Reich - 5767

Making Connections
Shlomo Katz - 5772

Birth of a Land
Rabbi Pinchas Winston - 5766

ArtScroll

Killer Torah
Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky - 5757

The Jealousy Antidote
Rabbi Yissocher Frand - 5772

Starting With the Best Materials
Rabbi Eliyahu Hoffmann - 5759

> For Your Sake
Rabbi Yaakov Menken - 5756

Taking the Tefillin Test
Rabbi Eliyahu Hoffmann - 5760

Today's The Day
Rabbi Pinchas Avruch - 5765

Frumster - Orthodox Jewish Dating

Double Standards
Rabbi Eliyahu Hoffmann - 5766

Desire of the Fire Within
Rabbi Label Lam - 5771

Comfort My People
Shlomo Katz - 5763

Looking for a Chavrusah?

Where Torah Resides
Rabbi Label Lam - 5768

Beyond the Letter of the Law
Rabbi Yisroel Ciner - 5758

Mi Casa Es Su Casa
Rabbi Yochanan Zweig - 5772

Basic Tenet of Jewish Life
Rabbi Berel Wein - 5763



Project Genesis

Torah.org Home


Torah Portion

Jewish Law

Ethics

Texts

Learn the Basics

Seasons

Features

TORAHAUDIO

Ask The Rabbi

Knowledge Base




Help

About Us

Contact Us



Free Book on Geulah!




Torah.org Home
Torah.org HomeCapalon.com Copyright Information