Torah.org Home Subscribe Services Support Us
 
Successful-Chinuch

ACVHIEVING SUCCESSFUL CHINUCH –

“I WISH MY CHILD CAME WITH INSTRUCTIONS”

At my child raising lectures parents often ask me advice about a difficulty they are encountering with one of their children. Sometimes, the guidance that I offer solves their problem. However, many times, even when I give them a few different suggestions, they reply that they’ve tried all of them without success.

It’s quite obvious, that existing problems in family relationships cannot be solved in a question and answer session (or over the telephone). At times, the guidance and strategies contained in these articles can help parents with their child raising problems, or at least prevent the situation from further deteriorating. However, parents should not feel discouraged or disappointed if, after applying the principles contained in these articles, are still unsuccessful in solving their problems. Unlike physical ailments that can be treated with a regimen of medication, there are no universal formulas to solve child-raising difficulties.

Child raising problems can be compared to a heart condition that is easy to treat when diagnosed in its early stages but will require major surgery if neglected. Similarly, these problems do not usually solve themselves and, if neglected, can necessitate professional guidance.

However, by implementing the guidelines and strategies contained in these articles in the early stages of a child’s life, parents can prevent child- raising problems from developing as illustrated by the following anecdote: In the middle of a busy thoroughfare in Chelm, there was a large pit that caused injury to the townspeople, who were constantly falling into it. Although a small fence was erected around the pit to block entry to it, the people ignored it and were still stumbling into the hole. One of the town’s wise men came up with a brilliant idea: “Let’s build a hospital next to the pit to provide instant treatment for anyone who falls into it.” Upon hearing this, someone in the town exclaimed, “Fools! Why don’t you simply fill up the hole?”

During my Yeshiva years in Mesivta Rabbeinu Chaim Berlin, I was fortunate to hear vaadim from Rav Avigdor Miller. These vaadim were short talks focusing on different areas of midos improvement. After the vaad, we would be given 2-3 weeks to work on that particular mida before proceeding onto the next one.

I think that this same method would be ideal for parents. Parents should choose a section on a specific topic and work together to apply and implement the principles or techniques. (At times they may need guidance and assistance from someone experienced in child-raising problems in helping them implement the techniques.)

Only after parents have somewhat succeeded in a particular area, should they proceed further.


Text Copyright © 2008 by Rabbi Chaim Morgenstern and Torah.org


 






ARTICLES ON MASEI AND THE THREE WEEKS:

View Complete List

Mourning on the 9th of Av: The Reasons
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5757

They Can Assure a Cure
Rabbi Label Lam - 5773

Body Language
Rabbi Yochanan Zweig - 5770

Frumster - Orthodox Jewish Dating

17th of Tammuz: Why We Fast - Part 2
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5758

Unquestioned Answers
Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky - 5761

Which is the Bigger Wonder?
Rabbi Label Lam - 5768

> True Wealth
Shlomo Katz - 5769

To Tell You The Truth...
Rabbi Pinchas Winston - 5764

On the Road of Life
Rabbi Berel Wein - 5761

Looking for a Chavrusah?

Ramban: Why was Parshas Nedarim given over specifically to "Roshei haMatos?"
Rabbi Yissocher Frand - 5771

The Question/Answer Dynamic
Rabbi Eliyahu Hoffmann - 5763

Ramban: Why was Parshas Nedarim given over specifically to "Roshei haMatos?"
- 5771

ArtScroll

A Judgement Call
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5758

In Touch with Reality
Rabbi Pinchas Winston - 5770

The Age Of Experience
Rabbi Naftali Reich - 5773

A Lesson About Our Psyche
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5757



Project Genesis

Torah.org Home


Torah Portion

Jewish Law

Ethics

Texts

Learn the Basics

Seasons

Features

TORAHAUDIO

Ask The Rabbi

Knowledge Base




Help

About Us

Contact Us



Free Book on Geulah!




Torah.org Home
Torah.org HomeCapalon.com Copyright Information