The three-week period between the fast of the Seventeenth of Tammuz and
Tishah b'Av, known as Bein ha-Metzarim, was established by the Rabbis as a
period of mourning over the destruction of the two Batei Mikdash. There are
certain activities, normally permitted, which are prohibited during this
period. The Talmud tells us that only one who has properly mourned the
Temple's destruction will merit seeing its rebuilding. It is important,
therefore, to become more knowledgeable about the exact nature of those
prohibited activities. Let us review:
There are four forbidden activities, for men and women, that are specific to
the Three-Weeks period: 1. Taking a haircut or a shave; 2. Getting married
or participating in a wedding; 3. Listening to music and dancing; 4.
Important Note: The Three Weeks period includes another period of mourning,
called the Nine Days. The halachos of those days—from Rosh Chodesh Av
through midday of the tenth of Av—are more restrictive in several areas.
Here we are discussing the laws of the Three Weeks only, not the special,
more stringent, halachos of the Nine Days.
Cutting Hair—When is it permitted? When is it prohibited?
It is permitted to trim a mustache that interferes with eating.
It is permitted to pluck one’s eyebrows or eyelashes.
Married women may cut hair that is protruding from their head covering.
It is permitted to comb one’s hair even though some hair will get torn
out while combing.
Nail cutting is permitted.
It is permitted to shave if one’s employer insists upon it. But if
one’s job is not at stake, though he may be ridiculed, it is forbidden to
A mourner who completed his mourning period during the Three Weeks, may
take a haircut and a shave.
The prohibition of hair-cutting applies even to small children.
Thus if an upsheren falls during the Three Weeks, it should either be moved
up or postponed.
If absolutely necessary, some poskim permit taking a haircut or a shave
on the evening and night of the Seventeenth of Tammuz.
There are poskim who support the custom of those who shave on erev
Shabbos, but this is not the custom today in most communities.
On the day of a baby’s bris, the father, the sandek and the mohel
may take a haircut or a shave. But it is forbidden to take a haircut or
shave in honor of a bar mitzvah.
Weddings—When are they permitted? When are they prohibited?
A wedding may be held on the evening before the Seventeenth of Tammuz
if the chupah will take place before sunset. If no other date is
feasible, some poskim allow the chupah to take place even after sunset
while others are more stringent.
Engagements are permitted and may even be celebrated with a party or a
Music—When is it permitted? When is it prohibited?
Listening to music is prohibited, whether it is live, broadcast on the
radio, or taped. Acapella music is forbidden as well.
Programs or other occasions where the musical accompaniment is
incidental to the main event may be attended or viewed.
Children who are old enough to understand about the destruction of the
Beis ha-Mikdash may not listen to music. Several poskim, however,
permit a child to practice his musical instrument.
Singing in praise of Hashem at a seudas mitzvah, without musical
accompaniment, is permitted.
A professional musician, or one who is learning to play professionally,
may play music during the Three Weeks.
Shehecheyanu —When is it permitted? When is it prohibited?
On Shabbos, it is permitted to recite shehecheyanu.
On Rosh Chodesh Av, it is permitted to recite shehecheyanu over
A new fruit that will not be available after the Three Weeks may be
eaten and a shehecheyanu recited.
A shehecheyanu is recited at a pidyon ha-ben and upon seeing one’s
newborn daughter (for those who would do so at any oher time).
A shehecheyanu may be recited if by mistake the Borei pri ha-eitz was
already said over a new fruit.
The blessing of ha-Tov v'ha-Meitiv may be recited during the Three
Since it is prohibited to recite shehecheyanu, it is also prohibited to
buy any item that normally requires shehecheyanu to be recited. It is
forbidden, therefore, to buy a new car for personal use during the Three
Weeks. It is permitted, however, to buy a car for business use [and recite
the shehecheyanu after the Three Weeks] or for the benefit of the family
[since in that case ha-Tov v'ha-Meitiv is recited instead of shehecheyanu].
New clothes that normally require a shehecheyanu should not be bought
during this time. Thus, shoes, shirts, trousers and all undergarments may be
purchased and worn without restriction until Rosh Chodesh Av, since
shehecheyanu is generally not recited over them. One who never recites
shehecheyanu on clothes, even on expensive ones, could also purchase
and wear expensive clothes during this time. Those who do recite
shehecheyanu when putting on new clothes may still buy and alter them until
Rosh Chodesh Av, but they may not be worn [during the weekdays] until after
the Nine Days are over.
1. Ta’anis 31b, quoted in Shulchan Aruch, O.C. 554:25.
4. Mishnah Berurah 551:79. When necessary, women may shave their legs; Rav
M. Feinstein (Moadei Yeshurun, pg. 128, note 9; Kitzur Hilchos Bein
ha-Metzorim, pg. 4). See also Igros Moshe, Y.D. 2:137 where he allows women
to take haircuts when necessary during the Three Weeks. When necessary, a
girl of marriageable age may take a haircut; Rav S.Z. Auerbach (Halichos
Shelomo 3:14, Devar Halachah 10).
10. Sha'ar ha-Tziyun 551:91. Aruch ha-Shulchan 551:31, however, seems to
hold that only children above the age of chinuch are prohibited to take a
haircut. See also Igros Moshe, Y.D. 1:224 who agrees with this opinion.
11. Chanoch le-Na’ar 22:1.
12. Igros Moshe, O.C. 4:112-2; She'arim Metzuyanim b'Halachah 122:1.
Others do not agree with this leniency; see Halichos Shelomo 3:13, Orchos
Halchah 1, and Shevet ha-Levi 8:168-8; 10:81-2.
13. Kaf ha-Chayim 551:66. See also Beiur Halachah 551:3, s.v. v’chein,
quoting Rav Akiva Eiger.
14. Shemiras Shabbos K'hilchasah 42:52.
15. Or the evening before; Mishnah Berurah 493:13. If the bris is on
Shabbos, it is permitted to take a haircut on Friday, ibid. If the bris is
on Sunday, most poskim do not permit taking a haircut on Friday; see Kaf
16. Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:15; Sha’ar ha-Tziyun 551:4, quoting Chasam
Sofer; Kaf ha-Chayim 551:10; Pischei Teshuvah 551:1; She’arim Metzuyanim
b'Halachah 122:16. See, however, Be’er Heitev 551:3, who is stringent.
17. Rav M. Feinstein, quoted in Moadei Yeshurun, pg. 128.
18. Rav Y.Y. Kanievsky and Rav Y.S. Elyashiv, quoted in Nechamas Yisrael,
19. Igros Moshe, O.C. 1:168.
20. See Halichos Shelomo 3:13, Orchos Halachah 1, Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 and
Shevet ha-Levi 8:168-8; 10:81-2.
21. Mishnah Berurah 551:19 and Sha’ar ha-Tziyun 26.
29. Not all poskim prohibit reciting shehecheyanu during the Three Weeks
and some conduct themselves according to that view; see Aruch ha-Shulchan
551:38. Our Discussion here is based on the view of the Mishnah Berurah, who
does not permit reciting shehecheyanu during the Three Weeks, and this has
become the prevalent custom.
30. Mishnah Berurah 551:98. Bein Pesach l'Shavuos, pg. 293, quotes
Teshuvos Riva that this is permitted only on Shabbos itself, but new
clothing may not be worn for the Minchah service on erev Shabbos.
31. Sha’ar ha-Tziyun 551:99.
32. Halichos Beisah, pg. 371, since clothing may not be bought during the