Parshas Toldos
Again and Again Rather Than…
By Rabbi Label Lam
And Essau saw that Isaac blessed Jacob and he sent him to Padan Aram to
take for himself from there a wife, and he blessed him and he instructed
him saying, “Do not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan!” And Jacob
listened to his father and to his mother and he went to Padan Aram. And
Essau saw that the daughters of Canaan were bad in the eyes of Isaac his
father. And Essau went to Yishmael and he took Machlas the daughter of
Yishmael the son of Avraham the sister of Navayos in addition to his wives
for a wife. (Breishis 28: 6-9)
That he took in addition to his wives and he did not cast out the bad ones
shows that he really cared more for his appetites than he did the will of
his father. (Ramban)
Essau is compared to the pig in that he extends his hooves saying, “See I
am pure!” So the generals of Essau steal and commit violence and portray
themselves as Kosher. (Rashi)
Why is it necessary or productive for us to study the faults of Essau? The
global answer may be that we find ourselves for two thousand in the fourth
exile under the hegemony of Essau’s descendant Edom -alias “Red”. The more
we can understand Essau’s modes of operation the better equipped we will
be in recognizing his deceptive tactics in order to defend and distance
ourselves.
What a rare window we get into the psyche of Essau. We can easily observe
the perverse quality of his value system. Essua had spent his entire life
tricking his father and the world that he was a holy roller. Rather than
beautifying himself he was devoted to decorating the mirror and
manipulating public opinion. Living in proximity to Essau we would have a
hard time finding the fault line of his tragic flaw. Ultimately, though we
can all observe the utter hollowness of his character.
As devoted as he was to his father, supposedly, it was more about his own
selfish agenda than anyone could presume. His entire campaign produced a
world of sizzle but delivers a paucity of steak.
Whenever a statement in Pirke’ Avos is introduced with the words, “He used
to say”-“Hu Haya Omer” there is one approach that explains it to mean that
he said it frequently and repeatedly. It was not a one time statement, a
quotable moment. Another explanation can be gleaned from the opposite of
the following example: A young doctor gave an amazing presentation about
the dangers associated with cigarette smoke and everyone left the
auditorium inspired, informed, and impressed. The very next day that same
doctor was spotted in the street dragging shameless on a cigarette. He was
approached with shock and dismay by one of the attendees of his lecture.
He responded in a cavalier fashion, “What do you want from me? How is the
value of my lecture diminished by my behavior?” Whenever the Mishne
says, “Hu Haya Omer-He used to say” it may be read more literally “he was
what he said”!
Sure it was good for Essau to marry from a better family, but it was
purely symbolic behavior void of substance. Mitzvos are not fig leaves to
cover up violations. If one steals and gives a token donation, does that
sanitize the bad behavior? Essau used Mitzvos to sway opinions as
if “perception is reality” is his sole guide to morality.
The verse testifies that he saw clearly what his father really wanted him
to do. He knew what was necessary to gain his father’s graces just like
Jacob but he opted out on his own because it would interfere with his life-
style. Then, rather than taking responsibility for his own poor choices he
dedicates his life to persecuting his brother when it was he that
conveniently chose that red- red soup again and again rather than…
Text Copyright © 2006 by Rabbi Label Lam and Torah.org.
