Torah.org Home Subscribe Services Support Us
 
Print Version

Email this article to a friend


82. The Mourner - Avel

We are commanded to mourn for lost relatives, as it says "[Such things happened to me;] if I eat a sin-offering today will it be good in the eyes of Ha-Shem?".1 The relatives for whom one must mourn are father, mother, son and daughter; brother and sister (rabbinically, even on the mother's side); and (rabbinically) husband and wife. One whose relative is not yet buried is forbidden to eat meat or drink wine and is excused from all the [positive] commandments of the Torah.a

A mourner or anyone present at the moment of death is required to tear his clothes. Mourning begins at burial, or (if the body is being sent elsewhere for burial) when it is turned over to those who will bury it, or when one hears that burial has taken place, or when hope has been lost that burial will be possible. It is forbidden to delay burial except to do honor to the deceased, as it says "For you shall bury him".2 It is forbidden to derive benefit from the dead, their garments, coffins, or graves.b

For seven days (all but the first of which are a rabbinical institution) a mourner is forbidden to cut his hair, wash or anoint his body, wear leather shoes, uncover his head, wash his clothes, do unnecessary work, study Torah, greet anyone, sit on a chair, or have sexual relations. For the remainder of 30 days he is forbidden to cut his hair, wash his clothes, marry, participate in festivities, or travel on business. For parents these last prohibitions extend to twelve months or until he is ridiculed by his friends. If one hears of a relative's death after 30 days he need only mourn briefly on that day. One should not mourn publicly on the sabbath. There is no mourning on a festival, and the occurrence of a festival terminates mourning that has already begun. One should not mourn excessively.c

We are rabbinically commanded to extend hospitality to travellers, to participate in marriages and funerals, to visit the sick, and to comfort the mourner; these things are in the category of "You shall love your friend as yourself"3 -- do to others what you would like them to do to you.d

A male priest is forbidden to come into contact with a corpse but he is permitted to do so for close relatives, as it says "[Say to the priests, the sons of Aaron:...] he shall not become impure for any soul of his people except for his close relation -- for his mother and for his father and for his son and for his daughter and for his brother and for his virgin sister".4 The high priest may not even become impure for a relative, as it says "[But the priest who is greater than his brothers...] he shall not come upon any dead person; he shall not become impure for his father or for his mother".5,e

Sources:

1. Lev. 10:19 a. 1:1; 2:1; 4:6
2. Deut. 21:23 b. 1:2-5; 7:1; 8:1; 9:11; 12:1; 14:13,21; Sanhedrin 15:8
3. Lev. 19:18 c. 1:1; 5:1; 6:2,7ff; 7:1; 10:1,3; 13:1
4. Lev. 21:1-3 d. 14:1
5. Lev. 21:10-11 e. 2:6; 3:1,6,11


Please Support TORAH.ORG
Print Version       Email this article to a friend

 

ARTICLES ON CHAYEI SARAH:

View Complete List

The Role of Beauty
Rabbi Yissocher Frand - 5766

Of Life and Legacy
Rabbi Pinchas Winston - 5761

Thanks, But No Thanks
Rabbi Eliyahu Hoffmann - 5761

Email Sponsorship

Avraham Earned His Days
Rabbi Yisroel Ciner - 5760

From Where Did Avraham Come?
- 5769

Shevuah: I Solemnly Swear
Rabbi Osher Chaim Levene - 5766

ArtScroll

Consolation
Rabbi Chaim Flom - 5768

Too Far East
Rabbi Pinchas Winston - 5767

A Slip Of The Tongue Can Mean The Difference Between Life and Death
Rabbi Yissocher Frand - 5765

The Everything Torah Book

When I Was Your Age....
Rabbi Dovid Green - 5758

Say Little, But Do a Lot
Rabbi Yisroel Ciner - 5758

A Match Made in Heaven
Rabbi Naftali Reich - 5769

Found Greatness
Rabbi Label Lam - 5769

The Path Of Life
Shlomo Katz - 5769

When to Worry, When to Chill
Rabbi Yisroel Ciner - 5761

Of Time and Space
Rabbi Aron Tendler - 5764


Learning Events and Programs

Project Genesis

Torah.org Home


Torah Portion

Jewish Law

Ethics

Texts

Learn the Basics

Seasons

Features

TORAHAUDIO

Ask The Rabbi

Knowledge Base

Discussion Forum




Help

About Us

Contact Us


Enable popup menus


Download to my HandHeld


Torah.org Home
Torah.org HomeCapalon.com Copyright Information