But It's True!
By Rabbi Daniel Travis
In any case, she is my sister; she is the daughter of my father, but
not the daughter of my mother, and she became my wife. (Bereshith
There is a strong tendency for people to justify a misleading, libelous or
outrageous remark with the disclaimer, “But it’s true!” Avimelech was
upset with Avraham for having claimed that Sarah was his sister, for
although his statement was true, its incompleteness nearly caused
Avimelech to sin. Even though Avraham was justified in his remark, the
fact that it was true did not negate the potentially harmful repercussions
of not stating the whole truth: that Sarah was his sister and his wife
Anyone can find countless examples in his own life of “true statements” he
felt “justifiably” tempted to make. People often repeat derogatory
information unnecessarily – information that, although it is true, could
seriously damage the reputation of the subject of the gossip. The fact
that on the surface a statement appears to be true does not rule out the
possibility of falsehood. Nearly every slanderous statement contains some
element of falsehood. In fact, the Torah injunction to distance oneself
from sheker teaches us that we must not speak lashon hara (2).
On another note, our Sages tell us that publicizing bad news is a foolish
act, albeit the information is true. Thus, if someone asks about a certain
person who has passed away, or about some other item of bad news, if the
information is not important for him to know, it is preferable not to
relate the news (3). One can respond with a simple “I don’t know” (4).
By the same token, if someone is doing something wrong, and one knows that
this person will not accept censure, it is preferable to remain silent and
not attempt to correct him (unless he is transgressing a violation
expressly stated in the Torah, as opposed to a Rabbinical injunction). In
this way, at least the transgression will be an unintentional one, rather
than an act of deliberately disregarding the reproof (5).
The bottom line is that not everything which is true should be said.
Beyond the technical measure of the veracity of a statement, Torah law is
a standard in and of itself in establishing the “truth” of a matter.
Therefore, if the Torah prohibits saying it, that is sufficient to render
a statement “false” (6).
1. Ramban on Bereshith 20:12.
2. Mechilta - Parashath Mishpatim.
3. Pesachim 3b.
4. Titein Emeth L’Yaakov 5:43, who cites numerous rabbanim who concur
with this opinion.
5. Rema Orach Chaim 608:2
6. Eved HaMelech - Parahsath Mishpatim
Text Copyright © 2007 by Rabbi Daniel Travis and Torah.org