Torah.org Home Subscribe Services Support Us
  LifeCycles
Print Version

Email this article to a friend

Marriage - 2

Submitted by Raquelle Huffman

In Bereshis (2:18), we find that G-d decided that Adam needed a wife: "and the L-rd G-d said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help to match him (ezer k'negdo)."

The expression "a help to match him" is a bit odd. How is it that a person who helps is a person who is a match, who is opposed to the other as well. The commentator Rashi explains that "if he is worthy, his wife is an ezer, a helper, and if he is not worthy she is k'negdo, opposed to him."

The Lekach Tov is puzzeled by this explanation. It appears that Rashi is talking about one individual, who may or not be worthy. Shouldn't Rashi more properly term the example as two different scenarios: two husbands married to two wives, one who is an ezer, a helper and one who is k'negdo, against him?

The answer is that one wife can be both eizer and k'negdo at the same time. If she is there to help her husband grow spiritually and fight his Yetzer Hora, evil inclination, she both a helper and a match to him. She is an eizer, a helper, because she is helping him gain reward in the World To Come, and k'negdo, because she chalenges him when he is tempted by his evil inclination, and opposes his desires to succumb to his passions. A person with a wife like this is the one who Rashi describes as worthy. The one who Rashi describes as not worthy has a wife who lets her husband do all that he wants. She is not interested in his spiriual growth. She does not desire to challenge him to strive for spiritual greatness. While she might outwardly appear to be a "helper" to her husband, she is truthfully against him, for she allows and permits his spiritual decline. She can be a helper, one who allows her husband to fulfill his earthly desires, who is against him, for she allows for his self destruction.


Subscribe to LifeCycles using the on-line form or via e-mail.
For questions, comments, and topic requests, please write to Rabbi Yehudah Prero.

 

ARTICLES ON BAMIDBAR AND SHAVUOS:

View Complete List

Back to the Present
Rabbi Pinchas Avruch - 5763

The Giving of the Torah
Dr. Meir Tamari - 5762

How Women Pave the Way
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5769

Looking for a Chavrusah?

Eat, Drink, and Receive the Torah
Rabbi Yisroel Ciner - 5759

Who Can We Be?
Rabbi Berel Wein - 5766

My Torah
Rabbi Pinchas Avruch - 5765

Frumster - Orthodox Jewish Dating

Counted Out
Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky - 5757

Civility In Times of Duress
Rabbi Yissocher Frand - 5756

Fatherly Guidance
Rabbi Label Lam - 5771

> Shavuos: Seven Special Weeks
Rabbi Naphtali Hoff - 5768

One Of These Associate Tribes Is Not Like The Other
Rabbi Yissocher Frand - 5764

"Get a Spiritual Life"
Rabbi Pinchas Winston - 5770

ArtScroll

Numbers Game
Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky - 5759

Where is Your Furniture?
Rabbi Yisroel Ciner - 5757

Shavu'os and Megillas Rus
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5757

Bamidbar: Torah is Water
Rabbi Berel Wein - 5773



Project Genesis

Torah.org Home


Torah Portion

Jewish Law

Ethics

Texts

Learn the Basics

Seasons

Features

TORAHAUDIO

Ask The Rabbi

Knowledge Base




Help

About Us

Contact Us



Free Book on Geulah!




Torah.org Home
Torah.org HomeCapalon.com Copyright Information