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Bar Mitzvah - Keeping the Right Perspective
By: Rabbi Yehudah Prero
The following Dvar Torah was delivered on the occasion of the Bar Mitzvah of Shraga Feivel Zachai, delivered by
Rabbi Peretz Zachai, Mashgiach Ruchani of the Yeshiva Gedola of Milwaukee
(Transcribed and submitted by Mordechai Cohen)
In Parshas Vayigash [Bereshis 47:8-9], Pharaoh asks Yaakov how old he is.
Yaakov responds, "I am 130 years old; few and bad are the years of my life,
and I have not reached the lifespan of my father." All the commentaries
jump on this response because it is uncharacteristic from someone of
Yaakov's nature (Yaakov is known for his emunah - faith - in Hashem). The
Ramban asks what is the purpose in telling Pharaoh this (Pharaoh only asked
how old he was, not what his life was like), and further, Yaakov may not
have reached his father's age yet but he still had years ahead of him and
could reach it? The Ramban answers that Yaakov appeared extremely old, far
older than a man of his age should have looked, and Pharaoh was asking why
he appeared so aged. Yaakov responded to the question by saying that he was
really 130 years old, which are few compared to the years of his father, but
that he appeared much older because of all the tzaros (hardships) he had
endured. So according to the Ramban, Yaakov was justified in his answer to
Pharaoh, even though it sounds like he might be complaining.
The Daas Zekanim MeBaalei Tosfos brings down the same explaination of the
Ramban, and then cites a Medrash. The Medrash says that when Yaakov said
that his years were, "few and bad," Hashem said, "I saved you from Esav and
Lavan, I returned Dinah and Yoseph to you, and you complain about your life
that it was few and bad! I will deduct from your life (which was supposed
to reach that of his father's, Yitzchak, 180 years old) 33 years, one year
for each word from the beginning of passuk (sentence) 8 until the end of
passuk 9." Clearly this was a big punishment for such a small comment. But
when you look at what Yaakov said, how bad was it really? The Daas Zekanim
himself had cited that Yaakov was justified in his response, for he was
only explaing why he appeared so much older than his true age. Yaakov was
but answering Pharaoh; what did he say that warranted such a harsh
punishment?
If you look closely at the Daas Zekanim, you can see the answer in his
words. True, Yaakov was justified in answering Pharaoh as to why he looked
so much older than he was, but it was the manner which he responded that
Hashem took him to task for. Hashem had done so much chesed (kindness) to
Yaakov over his lifetime (as previously mentioned) that for Yaakov to
characterize his life as ONLY few and bad was a gross misrepresentation of
what it really was. Yaakov could have said that his life was few and bad,
but to ignore, leave out, and never mention all the chesed that Hashem had
done for him was not proper. We must stress that the punishment and level
of judgement may seem harsh, but Yaakov Avinu was on a very high level and
Hashem looks at everything tzaddikim (the righteous) do with extreme
scrutiny.
So what are we supposed to get from this wonderful dvar Torah? Many times it
is easy to look at the misfortune that has befallen us and complain about
it. This is alright, for when bad things happen, to not complain would take
a person of strong will. But we have to remember all of the good things
that Hashem has given us and that we have accomplished. Those items are
tremendous and many times much bigger than the bad things which are
happening around us. When you look at the entire picture, Hashem has truly
blessed us, and the years are not "few and bad," but rather many and good.
This is an important lesson for a young man, who now faces the rest of his
life as a Bar Mitzvah, to carry with him and to remember.
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For questions, comments, and topic requests, please write to Rabbi Yehudah Prero.
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