Parshas Toldos
Raising Children and Good Mazal
The rabbis of the Talmud declared that children – having them, raising them
and how they turn out – are dependent on a degree of mazal, good fortune and
luck. In this week’s parsha, where the twins Yaakov and Eisav are described
and contrasted, this cryptic statement is apparently relevant and pertinent.
Both are products of the same parents, raised in the same home and
apparently given the same type of education yet they turn out to be opposite
personalities.
In fact, Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch sees in this the cause for Eisav’s evil
behavior – Eisav who is a completely different personality than Yaakov
should not have been given the same education as Yaakov. It was the
inability to raise Eisav according to his own tendencies and needs that
turned him into the alienated, rebellious and hateful person that he became.
The story of the twin sons of Yitzchak and Rivkah certainly illustrates the
uncertainty associated in raising children no matter how pious the parents
and how moral the home involved in raising them. It is this element of
unplanned and unforeseen mazal that the rabbis of the Talmud are referring to.
This in no way absolves parents of their responsibilities and duties
regarding the raising of their children. But, it does point out they have a
will of their own and that there are no guarantees as to how they develop
and what their beliefs and actions in later life will be.
In the nineteenth century entire generations and communities of Jewish
children turned their backs to Torah life and traditional values. It was
due, to a certain degree, to the obvious deficiencies present in Jewish life
In Europe – poverty, governmental persecution, social discrimination and the
apparent backwardness of the then Jewish society. But I feel that the major
driving force of this secularization of Jewish society was the zeitgeist –
the prevailing spirit of the times that then was dominant in European
society and life.
Perhaps one can say that this zeitgeist is itself the mazal that the rabbis
spoke of. We are all products of the ideas and times in which we live - we
are influenced by everything. Some, like Yaakov, are able to shut out much
of the outside world by sitting in the tents of Torah for decades on end.
Eisav, who did not have that ability to sit for years in the tents of study,
though he certainly had that opportunity, was swept away by the zeitgeist of
the Canaanites, of Yishmael and the allure of power and wealth.
Following the zeitgeist never excuses bad and immoral behavior in the eyes
of Torah. But it does explain how such alienation and rebellion, hatred and
prejudice is instilled into children who were raised by great parents and in
solid homes and families. Since zeitgeist can never be completely eliminated
from our home environments it behooves us to be aware of its presence and
attempt to deal with it wisely and realistically. And for that to happen, we
will all require a large helping of undiluted good mazal.
Shabat shalom,
Rabbi Berel Wein
