Rabbi Frand on Parshas Vayera
These divrei Torah were adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi
Yissocher Frand's Commuter Chavrusah Tapes on the weekly portion:
Tape # 120, After Milchigs: How Long a Wait? Good Shabbos!
A Man's Level is Determined by His Wife's Level
At the beginning of the parsha, during the description of the
dialogue between the Angels and Avraham, we find the verse, "And they
said to him 'Where is Sarah your wife?'" [Bereishis 18:9] If one
looks in a Chumash, he will notice that the 4 letter word "eilav" -
"to him" has 3 dots on top of it.
Rash"i quotes a famous Chazal that when there are more dotted letters
in a word than undotted letters, one should (homiletically) expound
only those letters that have dots on top of them. In this case, the
reading would be "And they said to him, where are you (ayo)? Meaning
they turned to Sarah and asked where Avraham was.
Rash"i interprets that they actually asked two questions. They asked
Sarah where Avrahom was (i.e. - how he was doing) and they asked
Avraham where Sarah was (i.e. - how she was doing). Rash"i says that
this teaches us Derech Eretz [proper behavior, manners] - that a
guest should inquire about the welfare of both the host and hostess.
The Chernobyl Rebbe expresses a different interpretation of this
Chazal: They did ask, "Where is Avraham?" but they did not ask this
to Sarah. The dialog was strictly between Avraham and the Angels.
First they asked Avraham "Where are you?" and then they asked, "Where
is Sarah, your wife?"
What does it mean that they said to Abraham "Where are you?" - He was
standing right there! Says the Chernobyl Rebbe, they asked him
"where are you holding in your life?" The way in which one asks a
man where he is holding in his life is by inquiring "where is (Sarah)
your wife holding?"
A man's level is determined by his wife's level. If one's wife is on
a high level, we know that the husband is similarly on a high level;
if however she is not on a high level, we also know where he is.
The type of wife that a person has largely determines the way that
the person acts, his standard of living and his goals in life. If
the wife wants the finer things in life, a better lifestyle, a
husband to bring home a salary to support all those things; if the
wife wants a lifestyle that requires 60 or 65 hours a week of work,
then we know where the husband is holding.
On the other hand if the wife is one who suffices with little, if she
is happy with whatever her husband can bring home in 40 hours a week,
his life will be different. If her attitude is "I will have a little
less, but you will learn a little more, you will occupy yourself in
communal affairs a little more" then we know where her husband is
holding.
"And they said, 'Where are you holding, Abraham?' How are we going
to know where you are holding? 'Where is Sarah your wife holding?'"
Rav Elchonon's Unpopular Dvar Torah
Towards the end of the parsha we find the incident where Avraham
Avinu [our father] went down to Gerar. Avraham was afraid that
Avimelech would want to take Sara for his own wife, perhaps even
killing Avraham in the process. As a result, Avraham identified
Sarah as his sister; Avimelech took her, almost came to the point of
sinning with another man's wife, until finally G-d identified Sarah
to Avimelech as Avraham's wife.
Avimelech says to Avraham, "What have you seen that you did this
thing?" [Bereishis 20:10] "You almost got me into terrible trouble.
I thought she was your sister. It turns out that she is your wife.
Why did you do this? Why didn't you just tell me the truth?"
Abraham responds, "Only because I said there is no Fear of G-d in
this place and I feared that they would kill me because of my wife."
[20:11]
The following insight of the Malbim was said over by Rav Elchanan
Wasserman to a group of Rabbis in Germany in the 1930s:
The Malbim emphasizes Avraham's use of the word Only (Rak) in the
sentence "Only... there is no Fear of G-d in this place."
Abraham told the people, "Gerar is a wonderful place. It is a place
of culture and refinement. It is a place of fine upstanding
citizens. But that is not going to help. Why? Because if there is
no Fear of G-d, and if the only authority is the laws of man, then
laws can change. The only law that will always have force is Divine
Law.
In a society that yesterday said that something is murder and today
calls it euthanasia; in a society that 20 years ago called it killing
babies but today, -- for sex selection -- kills those same fetuses,
there is no hope. There is no hope for such a society. Unless there
is Fear of G-d, unless there is a Divine Law - an Absolute Truth that
is unchanging - no one has guarantees. There are no safeguards.
Anything can happen.
That is what Avraham Avinu told the King of Gerar. "You are fine and
cultured. However, if lust will grab you or some other motive -
economic, sociological, whatever it is - nothing will stand in the
way of you achieving and fulfilling your desires. Because there is
no Fear of G-d in this place.
Rav Elchonon said over this Malbim about what can happen in Germany
in the decade immediately prior to the rise of Nazi power.
The other Rabbis scoffed at him and said "Not here. Never Again!
Germany is a country of laws, moral standing, technologically
advanced, not the Middle Ages. Not here."
Yes, Germany was a country of laws. In 1933, one of the first laws
that the Nazis passed was a law against cruelty to animals. Gypsies
should not be allowed to perform with dancing bears. Why? Because
it was not right for the German people to stand idly by when innocent
animals were taken advantage of and perhaps not cared for properly.
Those were the "laws" of Germany. A mere five years later there were
different "laws" in Germany.
Rav Reuvain Bulka remembers learning in Cheder [school] in Germany
after "Kristall Nacht." A child came into Cheder and told the Rebbe
that his house was on fire. The Rebbe ran and called the fire
department, pleading with them to extinguish the fire. The fire
department responded, "We are sorry we can't put out the fire in your
house. It is the law." The law was changed. Fires in Jewish homes
could not be put out.
"Only there is no Fear of G-d in his place." If there is no Divine
Law then laws mean nothing. The Germans, with all their culture and
with all their manners and with all their propriety can worry about
bears but not worry about humans.
Rav Hutner's "Mitzvah L'Farsem" [Mitzvah To Publicize] Story
When Rav Hutner was learning in Slabodka he remembers that Rav
Avraham Elya Kaplan went from Slabodka, Lithuania to Berlin to be
with Rav Dovid Tzvi Hoffman. He came back to Slabodka for an Ellul
[the month before Rosh Hashana] and the Alter from Slabodka asked for
his impressions of the German people.
Among other things, Rav Kaplan told them that the Germans were a kind
people. They had a polite way of speaking. If someone asks
directions from a German, he doesn't just give orders (go two blocks
and take a right); after he finishes the instructions, he will
politely ask "nicht wahr?" (Is this not so?) This showed refinement.
He would not say anything definitive; he would always end the
sentence with a tentative, 'nicht wahr?'
At that point an argument broke out between the students of the
Yeshiva. Was it right to praise the Germans? There were those who
argued that it is wrong to praise them. We don't learn manners from
other communities. [Their spoken customs might be only skin deep.
We need to look into our own sources for ethics that penetrate.]
There was one student who persisted and argued that if one sees
something nice in another culture, that should be learned and
accepted and even praised. "Nicht wahr?" is a sign of politeness and
thoughtfulness. It showed modesty and was admirable - why not learn
it from the Germans?
Fifty years later, Rav Hutner was saying a shiur in the Chaim Berlin
Yeshiva. A Jew walked in and said, "Do you remember me? I was that
student in Slabodka that complemented the custom of the Germans and
insisted that their way of speaking showed how gentle and fine a
people they were."
Rav Hutner indicated that he did remember this student and he stuck
out his hand to greet him. The Jew stuck out his hand and there was
a hook in place of a hand. He lost his hand in the concentration
camp.
He told Rav Hutner, "When the German cut off my hand in the
concentration camp, do you know what he said?" The German said, "It
hurts - nicht wahr? – Is it not so?"
"You, Rav Hutner were right, and I was wrong."
When there is no Fear of G-d, when there is no Divine Authority, when
there are no absolute laws, then there are no guarantees. It is not
up to us to decide "Never Again". We can not guarantee that it will
be "Never Again". Only the Ribbono shel Olam can determine whether
it will be "Never Again".
Personalities & Sources:
Chernobyl Rebbe -- (1730-1798) Rav Menachem Nachum Twersky of
Chernobyl; disciple of the Baal Shem Tov; author
of Ma'or Einyaim.
Rav Elchanan Bunim Wasserman -- (1875-1941); Rosh Yeshiva in
Baranowicze, Poland. Pillar of
Agudas Yisroel in Europe together
with Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzinski and
the Chafetz Hayim; Holocaust martyr.
Malbim -- Rav Meir Leibush ben Yechiel Michel (1809-1879); Rabbi in
Germany, Romania, and Russia; one of the preeminent Bible
commentaries of modern times.
Reb Reuvain Bulka -- Rabbi of Congregation Machzikei Hadas, Ottowa,
Canada; author and lecturer.
Rav Yitzchak Hutner --[1907-1980) Rosh Yeshiva of Mesivta R. Chaim
Berlin, Brooklyn; author of Pachad Yitzchak.
Rav Dovid Tzvi Hoffman-- (1843-1921) -- Rabbi, biblical and talmudic
scholar. Born is Slovakia, studied in
Hungarian yeshivot; rector of Hildesheimer
Seminary in Berlin.
Alter from Slabodka -- Rav Nassan Tzvi Finkel (1849-1927); spiritual
head of Slabodka Yeshiva; one of leaders of
Lithuanian Mussar movement.
Glossary:
Derech Eretz -- literally 'the way of the land', manners, behavior
Cheder -- (One) room (schoolhouse); elementary school
Riobbono shel Olam -- Master of the World
This week's write-up is adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi
Yissochar Frand's Commuter Chavrusah Torah Tapes on the weekly Torah
portion (#120 The corresponding halachic portion for this tape is:
After Milchigs: How Long a Wait? The other halachic portions for
Parsha Vayera from the Commuter Chavrusah Series are:
Also Available: Mesorah / Artscroll has published a collection
of Rabbi Frand's essays. The book is entitled:
