Rabbi Frand on Parshas Ki Sisa
These divrei Torah were adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi Yissocher Frand's Commuter Chavrusah Tapes on the weekly portion: Tape # 184, You and
the Seriously Ill: How Much of a Responsibility? Good Shabbos!
How Can Litvaks With Chassidic Wives Have Shalom Bayis? "Let Them Eat Cake"
In this week's parsha, the pasuk [verse] says, "And the Children of Israel
observed the Shabbos to keep Shabbos, for all generations, an everlasting
Covenant." [Shmos 31:16] This pasuk gives me the opportunity to relate a
significant incident.
There are different customs as to which pasuk or pasukim [verses] are
recited as the morning Kiddush on Shabbos, known as Kiddusha Rabbah. Some
begin at "Therefore He Blessed" (al ken Berach) [which, as we mentioned in
a prior shiur, may be problematic because it begins in the middle of a
verse]. Some begin with "Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy" (zachor
es Yom HaShabbos l'kadsho). Others begin with this verse from our portion
of "And the Children of Israel observed the Shabbos..."
The custom of Jews from Chassidic communities is to eat mezonos, cake or
cookies, on Shabbos morning after Kiddush. [Gift stores in Borough Park
sell "Challah covers" that are embroidered with the blessing for cake
(borei minei mezonos) rather than bread (hamotzi), for use during the
Shabbos morning Kiddush.] The Shabbos morning custom of Jews originating
from Lithuanian and German communities is to start the meal with the
blessing of hamotzi on bread, immediately after Kiddush.
On a regular basis, Rabbi Pessach Diskin, grandson of Reb Yaakov
Kaminetsky, tells me stories, practices, and opinions from his grandfather,
Reb Yaakov.
One Shabbos morning when Rabbi Diskin was a guest of his grandfather, he
noticed that after Kiddush, Reb Yaakov's Rebbetzin [wife] served cake to
Reb Yaakov and he made a borei minei mezonos. Afterwards, they went to wash
for the meal.
Rabbi Diskin knew that his grandfather was not a chossid. He was, in fact,
a dyed-in-the-wool Litvak. Rabbi Diskin asked his grandfather from where he
picked up the custom to have mezonos after Kiddush. Reb Yaakov explained
the origin of this custom to his grandson. Rav Yaakov, who had lost his
first wife, was now married to his "zivug sheni" (his second wife). Reb
Yaakov's second wife came from Chassidic background. Both her father and
her first husband were from Chassidic backgrounds. She was accustomed to
having mezonos with Shabbos morning Kiddush. If he would not have mezonos
after Kiddush, she would feel something was lacking in the Kiddush.
Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky was 70 years old when he married his second wife.
That means that for 50 years he made Kiddush in the morning without mezonos.
How many of us would change after doing something for fifty years, and for
what? "Because with my wife, this is how Kiddush is made".
Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky changed. To Reb Yaakov, it was worth changing a
50-year-old practice for Shalom Bayis -- for the feelings of his wife. This
is an insightful lesson for all of us.
The Need to Protect Oneself In Moments of Despair and Desperation
This week's parsha contains the incident of the Golden Calf. "The people
saw that Moshe tarried in descending from the mountain..." [Shmos 32:1].
This is one of the most difficult parts of the Torah to understand. The
Jewish people... fresh from the Exodus... fresh from witnessing the
splitting of the Red Sea... fresh from receiving the Torah... -- go and
make themselves an idol!
There is a very famous Ramba"n that says that this was not real idolatry.
The Ramba"n explains that Jewish people felt that now that Moshe Rabbeinu
was apparently gone, they needed an intermediary -- someone to act as a
go-between, between them and G-d. Until now, Moshe had filled that role.
The Ramba"n explains that they wanted an object on which the Divine
Presence of G-d could descend and so they fashioned themselves this golden
image in the shape of a calf.
The Avnei Shoham asks: if they wanted an intermediary, why did they switch
to a Calf? What would have been the most logical thing to do? When the
number one man in the company is gone, you turn to the number two man. Why
didn't they turn to Aharon or to Chur? Why did they prefer a molten image?
The Avnei Shoham provides an interesting answer. They didn't trust a human
being. A human being has freedom of choice. He can go off the true path.
The Talmud tells us (Chagiga 14b) what happened when "Ben Zoma, Ben Azai,
Elisha ben Avuyah, and Rabbi Akiva entered into the 'orchard' (Pardes) of
intimacy with G-d". One died, one went off the correct path, etc.
The Generation of the Wilderness did not want to entrust this role of
intermediary to flesh and blood. Who knows what can happen to a man of
flesh and blood?
If so, what about Moshe Rabbeinu himself? Moshe Rabbeinu, as Rav Meir
Simcha [MiDvinsk, author of the Meshech Chochma] says in the beginning of
Sefer Shmos, was an exception. Since Moshe was entrusted by G-d with a
prophecy not to be challenged, this was a Heavenly Guarantee that Moshe
himself would not leave the right path. Moshe had no choice in the matter.
In the history of mankind, he was the only human being to lose his freedom
to choose. That was implicit in his role of faithful transmitter of Torah
to mankind.
The Jews at the time of the Golden Calf wanted an inanimate intermediary.
Basically, this desire derived from a noble desire, but was an error. It
was in violation of "Molten gods you shall not make for yourselves". It
was, as a result of their high spiritual level, a form of prohibited
idolatry. The Torah tells us in connection with this sin that "They
speedily moved away from the path that I commanded them, they have made
themselves a molten god" [Shmos 32:8].
The question can be asked: this seems to contradict the Talmud's
description of how a person can come to worship idols. A person does not go
to bed one night a religious Jew, and wake up the next morning and suddenly
decide to worship idols. The Talmud states [Shabbos 105b] "This is the
characteristic of the evil inclination [within a person] -- today it tells
him to do this, and tomorrow it tells him to do that, until it finally
tells him to go worship idols". "They QUICKLY went away from the path,"
which we find here in the story of the Golden Calf, flies in the face of
the way things normally work.
The Mirrer Rosh Yeshiva says, from here we learn a very important lesson.
The verse says "that Moshe tarried in descending from the Mountain" (ki
bo'shesh Moshe...). Our Rabbis teach that the word bo'shesh hints at the
expression bah shesh (the sixth hour has come).
Moshe told the people he would be on Mount Sinai for 40 days, and that he
would return on the 40th day to give them the Torah. When the sixth hour
arrived and Moshe had not returned, Satan came and caused confusion. He
sent such a thick layer of clouds that it became dark, and the people all
thought that it was night. They concluded that the 40th day had passed
without Moshe's return.
Satan then made an apparition, showing the peope Moshe lying in a coffin --
telling them that their leader had died. They believed Satan, and became
distraught and depressed. They were desperate.
When a person is down, depressed, and desperate, anything can happen. That
is when "speedily they turned from the path" can happen. Just as there are
times when one's physical resistance can be low, there are times when one's
spiritual resistance is low. At times of great emotional stress, a person
can be susceptible to spiritual threats which would normally not harm him.
This is when the evil inclination can come and demand: "worship idolatry
today."
Although it is no longer as prevalent as it was some years ago, there was a
time when one could not go through a major airport in this country without
meeting a representative from the Hari Krishna. Why did they hang out in
airports? If they were merely looking for crowds, then they could have gone
to the sports stadiums!
Airports are unique because people there are often are in flux. People are
going to funerals, coming from funerals, going away from a loved one,
running away from home. People arrive after fights and arguments, after
breaking up a relationship. There are a lot of desperate people walking
around airports, and that is when people are susceptible. That is when they
are ready to try anything. Only in such situations can the Yetzer Hara come
and command "worship idolatry!"
Our Sages tell us that it says concerning the Blasphemer, "And he went
out..." [Vayikra 24:10]. Our Rabbis ask, "Where did he go out from? He went
out of Moshe's court, after having been denied his claim to inheritance"
[Sifra, Emor Parsha 14]. When the Blasphemer came out he sinned terribly by
cursing G-d. Why? Because he was depressed and broken. He was a man without
land, a man without a country. In such a state of mind, one can do anything.
If in the hills and valleys that we call life, there are periods when we
are depressed, we must never "throw in the towel." We must maintain a
semblance of dignity, pride, and honor.
The Gemara in Sanhedrin (120b) says that Solomon slowly lost his Kingdom
until, in the end, he was "molech al maklo" (merely a king over his own
staff). The simple interpretation of the Gemara is that this was all he had
left. Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz, however, says that the Gemara is telling us
the wisdom of Solomon. Even after he lost everything, and normal people
would have been crushed with defeat, he wanted to maintain his dignity so
he -- at least -- ruled over his staff. With such wisdom and with such an
attitude, a person can innoculate himself against the whims and temptations
that come from the Yetzer Hara in times of despair and desperation.
Glossary
Shalom Bayis -- Peace in the house
Kiddusha Rabbah -- the "Great" Kiddush (a euphemism for the fact that the
basic recitation of Kiddush consists only of the blessing
over wine)
mezonos -- grain products other than bread, such as cakes and pastries
Chossid -- (literally 'pious'); followers of Rabbi Israel Ba'al Shem Tov and
his disciples.
Misnagid -- (literally 'opponents'); followers of the Gaon of Vilna and his
disciples.
Litvak -- Lithuanian Jew
Yetzer Hara -- Evil Inclination
This week's write-up is adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi
Yissochar Frand's Commuter Chavrusah Torah Tapes on the weekly Torah
portion (#184). The corresponding halachic portion for this tape is:
You and the Seriously
Ill: How Much of a Responsibility. The other halachic portions for Parshas Ki Sisa from the Commuter Chavrusah Series are:
Also Available: Mesorah / Artscroll has published a collection
of Rabbi Frand's essays. The book is entitled:
and is available through your local Hebrew book store or from
Project Genesis, 1-410-654-1799.
