Reflections - Torah.org

The Right Stuff

Rabbi Raymond Beyda

THE RIGHT STUFF

It's no wonder that some people have a hard time making a decision. Manufacturers offer the American consumer over 600 models of automobiles that a buyer must sift through before making their purchase-- and that does not take into consideration the color or available option packages one must select. Many products come in a variety of colors and sizes-- sometimes the exact same contents are packaged in different ways to grab some extra shelf space on the retailers' counters. Today, even kosher wines offer several hundred gourmet choices to the observant consumer.

Decision-making is certainly a challenge. Choices may leave one in doubt about whether one has made the right choice. Our Sages teach "There is no joy as great as when a doubt is resolved." In the battle for self-esteem children are more vulnerable than adults to the depression factor of "being wrong all the time." It's a parent's responsibility to the healthy development of their child to give them the confidence to succeed in life. The same holds true for a manager assigned to train new employees in their job functions. A spouse must also realize that this applies to their partner in their life assignment of building a home and family together.

Today, when you are the one offering the choice to your child, employee or spouse --stop! Ask yourself, "Am I asking this person to make a choice they CAN make? Is the task I am requiring one they CAN do?" If someone is asked to do what he or she are unable to do they will probably not conclude that the demand was beyond their ability--they will probably conclude that they are inept! It only takes a minute but it will contribute greatly to your "student's" self-esteem and happiness for the rest of their life.

DID YOU KNOW THAT the first blessing of Bircat HaMazon [Grace After Meals] was composed by Moshe, the second by Joshua and the third by King David and his son King Solomon. The fourth was added many years later after the destruction of our Holy Temple when the corpses of the murdered Tzadikim of the city of Betar were miraculously preserved for several years until the foreign rulers allowed the Jews to bury their dead.