The Way I See It The Way You See It
By Rabbi Raymond Beyda
When one drives in poor weather, visibility is hampered by rain, snow or
salt on the windshield, which makes seeing the road clearly very
difficult. As hard as one may try it is impossible to see things clearly.
When one attempts to make a decision in which he or she is involved,
seeing clearly is also impossible. A person sees life from one’s own
perspective. One’s vision is blurred by personal prejudices, financial
considerations and other factors that hamper a clear assessment of the
situation. One has to realize that it is only human to see things not as
they are -- but as we are. Our sages teach, “One does not see one’s own
faults.” Simply put you will not see egg on your face until someone else
points it out to you and you then look into a mirror.
Today when you are finding it difficult to agree about a matter in which
you are involved personally stop. Get another opinion. Consider that
opinion carefully so that you really understand what the advisor is
saying. It only takes a minute but it will give you an opportunity to see
a situation from another angle where the view is free from rain and salt.
DID YOU KNOW THAT
One who ate meat, and within six hours erroneously made a berakha
[blessing] on a dairy food, should taste a small amount of the dairy
product, in order to avoid reciting a blessing l'batala [in vain]. The
same rule applies to one who mistakenly said a blessing on meat after Rosh
Hodesh Av [in the nine days when eating meat is forbidden], or who recited
a blessing on food or drink on one of the public fast days [except for Yom
Kippur], or on Saturday night before reciting the Habdallah one should
taste a small amount to avoid the transgression of saying a blessing in
vain. However, if one erroneously said a blessing on a food, which is
forbidden to eat because it is not kosher then one should not even taste
the food at all. One must recite the phrase “Barukh, Shem k’bod malkhuto
l’olam va-ed” [Source Yalkut Yosef, Volume 3, Siman 172:2].
CONSIDER THIS FOR A MINUTE
The Mussar masters warn a man who delays getting married that he is
risking his soul because he is tempted to sins of immorality but has no
permissible outlet for his desires. All attempts he makes to fast or
repent for sins of immoral behavior will be futile because he is probably
going to repeat the same types of transgressions soon after repenting. One
should know that after the age of 20 he is in great spiritual danger.
Hizkiyahu the King of Israel was a righteous King who spread the word of
Torah throughout the land, yet his failure to marry brought a decree of
death upon him, even though his reluctance to marry was based on what he
considered to be a valid reason. He saw in a prophetic type vision that
his children would be wicked and so he refrained from getting married. The
prophet Isaiah came to him with a message from G-d revealing that his
punishment for staying single would be death and that he would also lose
his portion in the World to Come. One should therefore find a mate and
marry without delay.
Raymond J Beyda
Text Copyright © 2004 by Rabbi Raymond Beyda and Torah.org.