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Though we all know that “the jealous person gains nothing” being that way,
that “he does nothing against the person he’s jealous of” in his stew, and
that he only “harms himself” in fact, as Ramchal notes, still and all nearly
all of us succumb to the form of “temporary insanity” as he terms it that is
jealousy. (And if anger, as we’d depicted it above, is in fact an instance
of a quick, arrogant, malevolent assertion of self as well as a harsh denial
of another’s worth, then jealousy is perhaps a quick and meek denial of
one’s own self-worth.)
The most jealous among us often get so “depressed, worried and bothered by
the fact that someone they know becomes successful at something”, Ramchal
offers, that even “their own successes give them no pleasure”. Solomon was
apparently referring to them when he asserted that “Jealousy is the very
rotting of the bones” (Proverbs 14:30).
Others wouldn’t be quite as “bothered or wounded” as they, he suggests, but
they’d nonetheless “experience some pain, or at least a certain=2 0chilling
of the spirit” when seeing someone else doing well. And while they might
“offer some encouraging words” half-heartedly to the other person,
nonetheless “in their hearts they’d actually be hesitant” and might secretly
want to downgrade the other’s success. In fact, Ramchal adds, “this is very
common” -- “especially when it comes to a competitor's success” as most of
us know.
But not only is being jealous shameful and harmful, it’s rooted in a deep
misreading of reality. For, we’re taught that no one can “approach within a
hairsbreadth’s worth of something that’s reserved for another" (Yoma 38b).
That means to say, there’s a certain amount of this and that allotted to
each one of from the first in this world, and absolutely no one can pass
that line -- neither the jealous person, nor the other one. For “absolutely
everything is from G -d, and emanates from His wondrous counsel and
unfathomable wisdom”, know it or not. So, “there’s no reason to be bothered
by another’s good fortune”, Ramchal assures us: each one of us has just
what’s coming him.
The truth is that we’d be hard-pressed to catch sight of that in the world,
since it plays itself out in realms beyond our comprehension before it comes
to earth. For as Ramchal points out in another work, while the angels see
the celestial source of their good fortune, we simply don’t. And certain
realities are tainted on the way down to us, so we pick up mixed messages
and arrive at erroneous conclusions which can lead to jealousy and the like
(see Pinot HaMerkavah, as found in Ginzei Ramchal pp. 323-324).
In the end, though, we’d need to concentrate on the goodness that G-d
Almighty has granted us, to remind ourselves that those who have things we
don’t have would love to have things we do have and might very likely be
jealous of us for them, and to understand that each blessing carries its own
curse just as each curse has a blessing wrapped inside.
Text Copyright © 2007 by Rabbi Yaakov Feldman and Torah.org
The Path of the Just
Ch. 11 (Part 16)