The Duties of the Heart
Gate Seven: "The Gate of Teshuva"
Ch. 6
But, what in the world would ever inspire us to do teshuva? After all, it
seems to go against the grain to admit to being wrong and having to
change; for nothing gratifies the human heart more than being right and
simply staying in place. In fact, though, we'll find that four things
would move us to teshuva.
The first (and most altruistic) thing would be the stark, vital, and quick
realization of G-d's presence in the world and His all-embracing
benevolence, and of how compelled we feel to worship and draw close to Him
again in light of all that. After all, if it occurred to me that the
person I admire most and whom I depend upon loved me despite my failings,
I'd want to better myself in full appreciation of that. And that's all the
more so true if I'd realized that of G-d Almighty and my connection to
Him.
The second (which, like the others to follow, are more self-serving but
valuable anyway) would be our recalling all the portentous and baleful
things the prophets had said in the past about the fate of the wrongful,
and the selfsame things more contemporary seers, sages and holy ones say
(since each age has its dispatchers of G-d's directives, its own guides
and spokespeople).
The third thing would be our own realization of how much the wrongful
suffer; and how we might be affected that way, too, if we continue doing
things we'd need to repent for. (Do very bad people manage to do very well
despite it? Of course they do. But all sorts of things, large and small,
public and private, inward and outward, go wrong in a person's being,
life, and encounters that people tend to slough off as "bad
luck", "setbacks", "utterly unexpected circumstances" and the like that
are actually cumulative instances of payback for very bad moral choices.)
And the fourth thing would be your realizing how your *own* ongoing large
and small, public and private, inward and outward woes and vexations are a
consequence of your wrongdoing! (How shocking a realization that can be;
how jolting and eloquent an instance of self-disclosure!) While this may
be the least altruistic prod of all, it's effective nonetheless, as long
as it leads to true heartfelt teshuva in a spirit of contrition and
remorse.
Text Copyright © 2004 by Rabbi Yaakov Feldman and Torah.org