Re: Adoption

David Rockove (drockove@juno.com)
Wed, 13 Aug 1997 17:13:15 -0400

Kenneth Miller wrote:
>There have been several posts recently about Jewish people who adopt
>non-Jewish children. I have heard that the reason they do this is that
>Jewish orphans are frequently of uncertain parentage, and so they will have
>a difficult time getting married, because anyone they meet could
>potentially be a forbidden relative. In contrast, when a non-Jewish child
>converts to Judaism, his family ties are severed; having no relatives, he
>is free to marry any Jew.
>I do not understand this at all!
>(1) Those Jewish orphans will have a difficult time marrying whether you
>adopt them or not. The adoptive parents are not helping them in any way by
>adopting a non-Jewish child. The only problem which gets solved is that the
>adoptive parents will have one headache fewer. My heart goes out to orphans
>of all faiths, but family comes first. Being an adoptive parent is a
>tremendous sacrifice, in many many ways, and that sacrifice will bring
>tremendous rewards - in mitzvah value, and in other ways. Now, given the
>choice between giving so much of yourself to be a parent to a needy Jewish
>child, or a needy non-Jewish one, all else being equal isn't it a much
>bigger mitzvah to adopt the Jew? I grant that finding a spouse for that
>child will be a major problem, but he will have that problem anyway, with
>you or without you. Is that headache so big that it justifies choosing a
>non-Jewish child?

In regard to Kenneth Millers questions about adoption, I would have to
agree that it does seem unfair not to have good families available to adopt
Jewish children, or chas v'sholom(G-d forbid) have non-Jewish families
adopt them. The solution might be not to have a formal adoption as we know
it today. We know what a great mitzvah it is to raise an orphan, why not have
families raise the children as their own without the child taking on the
'adopted family' name? This might seem cruel, but after all the child will
have to know his/her own family origin for numerous reasons, i.e. marriage,
whether they are a Cohen or Levy, etc. By letting the child keep their own
name it would be possible to prevent the problem of marrying a forbidden
relative, and allow Jewish children to be 'adopted' by and raised by Jewish
parents.

Dovid Rockove