LifeCycle Events: Marriage and Sexuality: Negiah and Little Children:
At what age do the laws of Negiah begin for boys and girls?At what age is it no longer permissible for a man to arry a girl, or for a woman to touch or carry a boy?
Technically, the laws of Negiah (and Yichud for that matter)
begin for a girl from the age of three and for a boy from the age
of nine. But what is prohibited is to touch a member
of the opposite sex "in an intimate manner", Derech Chibah.
For example,a doctor or nurse may touch a member of the opposite
sex (even in non-emergency situations) during the course of an
examination, since this is non-intimate touching). Touching a child,
even in a loving way (holding the hand, pinching or kissing the cheek),
is not considered "intimate", if that action is appropriate for a child
of that age. For example, it would be perfectly acceptable for an uncle
to hold his six year old niece's hand, but not his 16 year old niece's
hand. A boy who is a counselor in a camp for little children would be
permitted to hold the hand of a four year old girl, but not necessarily
of a seven year old girl.
Issues of modesty can be very complex. It may be worth purchasing one
of the many publications available on the subject to get more of an
in-depth understanding.
genesis@torah.org
