Perhaps I am the lone dissenter in the pack
I am a religious Jew but I worry terribly
about the responsibility of kids. We women
are the ones who raise them and have much of the
struggle. I've seen too many (a relative teaches
at a bais yaakov) where the child comes in without
homework or has an untreated learning disability and
the child is TWELVE!!! When the parent is
called and it's usually the mother the answer is
something like "what do you want me to do about it"
or "I can't talk now I don't have time". My family
member has to beg for the privilege of talking to the
parent and the response is often apathetic. I don't think
everyone is meant to have large families. My own friends
used to miss Sunday classes because they had to babysit. They
were missing SCHOOL because of a child that had become their responsibility
to raise that was not their child but their sibling. I am religious
but I feel that the author is not taking everything into perspective. Does
he go to the teacher when the child has a problem? Does he change diapers
and get up at night? Does he do homework with the child? Is this true especially when the
wife is exhausted by another pregnancy. If the answer is "yes" b'chol hakovod.
Often the answer is in the negative or the husband will say "don't worry about it
it will be fine". Too often the wife is left to deal with the problems
as well as hold down a job. I think that needs to be considered too. -0/6-/2001
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I only have 3 wonderful blessings.(Unfortunately, my health would be at risk if I were to have more)What I marveled at was complete strangers comments when I was pregnant with my third, the most polite being "was it planned, you already have a boy and a girl?" -0/6-/2001
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Good for you! I am the father of only two, but since one is retarded (developmentally disabled for the p.c.) I often get the stares and even comments wondering "why don't you put him in a home?" Meaning, of course, why did you keep him? As if HaShem really meant him for someone else! Every child is a blessing; some people just can't handle being blessed. You obviously can. - T. O. -0/6-/2001
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As the mother of 6 children (most of them twins), I fully relate to R' Shafran's experience.
I would like to point out this attitude is one of the aspects of American life that we miss the least since moving to Israel. Here, the comment that goes along with the inevitable double-take we elicit is "Sheyihu B'ri'im" (they should be healthy!) - K. S. -0/6-/2001
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You are absolutely correct. I believe the command was 'be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.' Not multiply if you feel like it or if you think it's OK. We are a long, LONG way from filling the earth. The entire population of the earth, standing loosely packed (~1.5 sq. ft. each) can be placed within the city limits of San Antonio, TX. The entire population of the earth (~1.5 billion families) would live on one acre of land each - within Australia. That leaves the rest of the earth to produce food, etc. We are hardly overpopulated. Keep up the good work (on all levels). - E. L. -0/6-/2001
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