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| More Comments | What a wonderfully inspiring story! Thank you for sharing it with us. I have printed it out to use with my students.
As a convert to Judaism married to a ba'al teshuva (raised Conservative, now Orthodox), we found ourselves attending a Conservative shul for several years -- the only one we could easily get to, in the wilds of Long Island in the 1970's. (We moved to the then-emerging Orthodox community of Kew Gardens Hills, Queens once my son reached yeshiva age.)
One of the most important things my husband and I have learned is that, as you pointed out, there is no single path "home." Your daughter's route was not your son's, and you yourself could never have foreseen the abrupt, steep turn your own path would take. Stories such as yours are tremendously reassuring for those who have just made the decision to start up the mountain.
However, I also feel that the way you and your husband were able to jump in and immerse yourselves would not have worked for quite a few of our friends. You have levels of strength and determination and willpower that many others simply cannot aspire to. You recognized that your son needed to make the decision and changes at his own speed, and this is the course usually we recommend, taking one or two aspects of Judaic practice and learning (in chavrusa, study groups or on your own) more about these as you apply them step by step in your life.
- S. C. -1/1-/2001 | | * * * * * | To the person who wrote on 11/23/2001:
Please do not feel that it is too late for you to make your "transition," or leave "hope" just up to your grandchild. It is never too late to make even a small growth in your spiritual life, in your relationship with Hashem.
Until your last breath, Hashem will never give up hope on you - you should surely believe in yourself, that you CAN grow closer to Hashem in many meaningful ways.
It's very counterproductive to have an "all-or-nothing" approach to growing in Torah Judaism. When a good friend of mine decided to start join a daily Talmud class (and though he could read the letters, he could not translate much), he was concerned that maybe he was biting off more than he could chew. But after the first class, he stood up, stretched, looked me in the eye and asked "How do you eat an elephant?" I didn't know WHAT he was talking about! Then he smiled, and slowly answered himself: "One bite at a time..."
The way to begin to get closer to Hashem is by starting with one mitzvah at a time. Every mitzvah you do counts, and inspires you to do more. So start with just one. Enjoy it - choose something you can handle. How about praying once a day from a siddur (prayer book), or saying blessings before eating a food. Or choose to make Shabbos holier for yourself, by doing one positive and one negative action, like both lighting Shabbos candles (or making Kiddush on wine/grapejuice and Mamotzi on Challah) and also refraining from even just one anti-shabbos activity, say, not watching TV that day, or not driving. Going to shul (synagogue) on Shabbos is wonderful - take your time at prayer and pray in a language you understand (understanding Hebrew can come later).
There happens to be a small pamphlet, I think published by Feldheim, called the Chofetz Chaim's Book of Mitzvos, a translation of a book by the famous Chofetz Chaim, which is a list of the mitzvos that are applicable today, when we do not have a Beis HaMikdosh (Holy Temple in Jerusalem). In here you can find over 50 mitzvos that are applicable to both men & women, every single day. Just taking on one of these can begin to make you feel spirtually awake, fulfilled and connected to Hashem. As you feel comfortable, you can take on more, and grow at your own pace.
It's funny, but you wouldn't think that doing a physical action like a mitzvah will give you a spiritual connection to Hashem. But it happens. You can't help but get closer to the One who GAVE you those mitzvos, and even more so when you contemplate that you are doing it BECAUSE he asked/commanded you to do it,rather than just because they are nice ideas/concepts. Another boost are the lessons implied or hidden within the mitzvos, which you can never appreciate as well without actually doing them.
Look. Hashem made you, had you born into the world in this generation, arranged all your personality and emotional experiences, and put you into your own unique historical framework vis-a-vis exposure to Torah Judaism. Don't you think He "knows where you're coming from?" Yet he wants you to come back to Him and the life He has lovingly waiting for you. And He'll help and direct you every step of the way, as long as you keep walking! Just don't forget to sincerely ask Him, in prayer, every day to help you. Then keep your eyes open, because it will amaze you how close He'll be to you, and how simply you'll see His Hasgacha Pratis, His Devine Intervention on a personal level. YOUR personal level.
Example: as I'm typing this to you, a friend comes by and recommends I tell you about some remarkable radio broadcasting you can hear over the Web.
Go to www.voiceofrussianjewry.com from 4pm to 1am EST weekdays, for some very inspirational programming, which he himself helps create.
Now I've been waiting ALL WEEK for him to come over and pick up a package he needs from me for his work. That he should show up just when I'm composing this letter is not a mere coincidence. It must be that you, or someone else who will read this, needs to know about this website. That's what I mean by "listening to messages" that come through personal devine providence.
Good luck, and good Shabbos!
- S. S. -1/1-/2001 | | * * * * * | My family belonged to a conservative shul for over 15 years. We were very active there, celebrated holidays and events, but were not observant. When our oldest child became bat mitzvah, she was given a "scholorship" for a hebrew high school which was run by NCSY. As time went by, she became more and more observant. At first we thought, "What's wrong with how we raised her within our definition of Judaism?" We were actually insulted, feeling that we weren't Jewish enough for her. Then, little by little, we actually saw the light.To make a long story very short, through this child and with the help of NCSY,the National Jewish Outreach program, an organization similar to Gateways called Foundations,and the support of family and friends, my immediate family of five moved into the wonderful realm of Orthodoxy (we did eventually move into a more "Jewish" neighborhood, too!) It was after my oldest went from public high school to Israel for a year. My two younger children left in high school - yes high school - to attend a yeshiva. There is so much to say about how happy these changes have made us - yes there were big challenges at times but nothing that was not surmountable. We continue to learn and grow and are the happier for it. Our two daughters are married and we have four wonderful grandchildren. We know our son will marry within Judiasm- it's not even a question. Life is too short to let Judiasm, our heritage, pass us by. Pick it up and fly with it. You will never be sorry.
- W. G. -1/1-/2001 | | * * * * * | I wish I had had the strength to make the transition when my children were an age appropriate to do so. I am now older, somewhat wiser, and alone. My children are not the Jews they could be, and neither am I. Maybe hope resides in my half Jewish grandchild.
-1/1-/2001 | | * * * * * |
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