Thanks for this wonderful piece. It really resonated.
I am an observant woman who grew into observancy after I was already established in the working world. I work at the University of Michigan and am constantly working with Senior Management. I began covering my hair with a hat. The feedback I received year's later was somewhat similar to Elizabeth's--people thought I was undergoing chemotherapy. As the time for the annual holiday party rolls around again, people insist that the affair be kosher, just so I can participate in eating.
I've also changed my schedule to make sure I am always home to pick up my children from school. My husband gets them off in the morning, and I'm there at the end of the day.
I'm not aspiring to climb the corporate latter, and I agree with Elizabeth, the biggest aspiration has to be to put your family first. You will be respected and people will accomodate. - D. R. -1/2-/2002
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Enjoyed reading about your priority of family firmly in place. - T. R. -1/2-/2002
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I thought this article was very well done. I don't save many for later reference, but this one I am. -1/2-/2002
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As an observant woman who wears a head scarf or a sheitel, a grandmother, even a great grandmother, I am completing my doctorate in education at the age of 65. And how I empathize with Dr. Kaufman's comments about costume. I pursued higher education as a mature student, in my thirties, went on to teach, finally teaching and coordinating an adult literacy program, while dressing modestly.
But it is the assumption that we repressed observant women are second class citizens that bears comment. Women who choose to work at home as homemakers and mothers are not, perforce, second class citizens, accorded that status by their very religious affiliation. Rather, it is the society at large that assigns that designation. Am I to be applauded because I married, raised a family, pursued higher education and entered the paid workforce, thus fulfilling every feminist's dream of being the over-achieving super mom? I think not.
Judaism does not insist that women become schmattas. This is a misconception. It is the non-Jewish and secular Jewish world, together, who cannot reconcile an observant women living her life strictly according to the Torah while contributing to their vocation or avocation. Unfortunately our strongest critics are those secular Jewish men and women who become enraged at the sight of an observant Jewish woman dressed modestly, hair covered while engaged in substantive activities outside the protected walls of home and hearth. We observant women need answer to no one. We can pursue our destinies while living according to Torah concepts and precents. Judaism is defined by the eternal Torah, not external ephemeral values. - M. G. -1/2-/2002
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Dr Kaufman is an amazing woman. In my year in seminary I had the privilage of taking her class titled "Modern Jewish Woman". and as you have read here, she is just that. Dr Kaufman, if you read this, Hi! This is Sarah from Be'er Miriam. I miss ur class, hope ur doing well. Bye - S. B. -1/2-/2002
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