· This Week’s RRR (Relevant Religious Reference): “Any
love that depends on a specific cause, when that cause is gone, the love
is gone; but if it does not depend on a specific cause, it will never
cease...” – Ethics of the Fathers (Avos), 5:19
· This Week’s SSC (Suitable Secular Citation): ♪ “And I
hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it, but I probably
will... well time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister, but
boring stories of – GLORY DAYS” ♫ – From “Glory Days” by “The Boss”
Bruce Springsteen
SPRINGSTEEN’S HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS
In the first verses of his song “Glory Days”, Bruce Springsteen speaks
about two of his friends who are “past their prime”, feeling hopelessly
compelled to pine away for the old days. The 1st is a guy who had been a
“big baseball player back in high school”, and the 2nd is a
woman who “could turn all the boys’ heads” back in her
heyday. I’m pretty sure that Bruce is on to something big here! Think
about it: in illustrating the “has-been” characters that are fated to pine
away for the past, look at the examples he chooses. He specifically
references people who had been highly regarded in their youth for their
PHYSICAL prowess.
A STOCK THAT IS DESTINED TO GO DOWN
So what makes Bruce’s friends – and others who are highly regarded for the
PHYSICAL prowess of their youth – especially vulnerable to latter-life
letdown? Our Sages provide a hint in their following Talmudic
statement: “Any love that depends on a specific cause – when that cause is
gone, the love is gone”. True, on one level the Sages are speaking about
interpersonal love & romantic relationships (e.g. if a man marries a woman
that he “loves” PRIMARILY for her looks, as her youthful charm vanishes,
the “love” gradually vanishes along with it). But we can also apply the
Sages’ quote to “self-love”, or even to “love of life”
Let’s speculate into the early life of Bruce’s Baseball Friend –
called “BBF” below – to demonstrate how “love of self & life” fit into the
equation:
1) Young BBF has some serious baseball skills, which attract
admiration & recognition
2) The thrill of recognition causes BBF to base more and more of his
esteem and identity – his “love of self” and “love of life” – around his
baseball skills
3) DANGER AHEAD: any love – of others, of
self, or of life – that depends on a specific cause
(like baseball skills or looks), when that cause is gone, the love is
gone
4) CRISIS: Despite the fact that some stars like Roger Clemens
& Jamie Moyer play well into their 40’s, BBF’s skills go the way of all
physical greatness and fade away with time. He had become known as “Mr.
Baseball”, which he proudly adopted as his self-defining label. Now
what? What happens to a “Mr. Baseball” that can no longer play the game?
What happens to a “Miss Head-Turner” that can no longer turn the heads?
THE GENERAL PROBLEM: PHYSICALITY DETERIORATES WITH TIME – physical matter,
physical strength, physical beauty, and so on! Therefore, basing our
identity and esteem around our physical greatness, much like marrying
mostly for looks, IS LIKE HEAVILY INVESTING IN A STOCK THAT WE KNOW WILL
GO DOWN! So now we can plug in all the variables to our new equation:
any “self-love” that depends on the physical greatness of our youth, when
that physical greatness is gone, the “self-love” is gone.
100 IS THE NEW 20
You’ve heard that 60 is the new 40? Well in this week’s portion, we learn
how 100 can be the new 20! We are told that our Matriarch Sarah lived her
life in such a way that when she was 100, it was as though she was 20.
100-year old Sarah didn’t need to look back at her glory days –
her “Golden Years” were her “Glory days”! How did she do it? Perhaps
because when she was 20, she primarily invested in the rising stock of
spiritual pursuits rather than the plummeting stock of physical
preoccupations. While we said above that physicality deteriorates with
time, spirituality flows in the opposite direction and can actually get
better with time! [Incidentally, this is one reason we use wine to
sanctify experiences like Shabbat, which represents the elevation of our
physical world for a spiritual purpose. Wine and “spirits” (aptly named)
are perfect choices to symbolize this triumph: since they are famous for
improving over time, they are prime examples of physical substances that
are influenced by spiritual properties].
OLD-AGE & BEYOND
Two final points that stem from these principles are important to
consider. First of all, the value that we place on physicality vs.
spirituality will also likely determine the appreciation we have for
elderly people. On a societal level, those cultures that place the
highest premiums on physical accomplishments seem to be the same cultures
that place the lowest premiums on their senior citizens. And finally, one
more crucial concept comes out of the “love of life” analysis: we have
established that the more occupied and obsessed we become with our
fleeting physicality, the more we can expect a later life of frustration,
disappointment, and meaninglessness. But this conclusion also holds true
for our afterlife experience, for the very same reasons: the more
our “love of life” is wrapped up in our physical preoccupations, the more
difficult our transition to an afterlife where that physicality is no
longer accessible. The more our souls would be fated to grasp for a
gratification that is no longer available!
Of course, “spirituality” from a Jewish perspective is not synonymous
with deprivation or full-time mountaintop meditation! “Spirituality”
involves using the physical world sensibly to fulfill the meaningful
missions for which we were created. With that in mind, we can thank our
Sages: they may not have been seasoned stock market analysts, but their
hot tip on spiritual awareness provides us with a top investment strategy:
one that can perpetually take us from strength to strength – ever looking
ahead to greater Glory Days!
