Actually, only one type of
Lashon Hara (lit. "evil speech") reflects lies. Speaking lies (slander)
is called "motzi shem ra" - literally spreading a bad name. It's
pretty easy to imagine how lies, and even exaggeration, can unfairly
damage someone's reputation. There are two commandments that explicitly
prohibit lying:
- Lo tisa shema shav - you shall not utter a false report. Ex. 23:1)
-
- Midavar sheker tirchak - from a false matter you shall
distance yourself. (Ex. 23:7)
Note the wording of the
mitzvot--neither of them tell us to say the truth, but
rather to refrain from telling lies. However, two cases in
the Talmud actually advocate lying under certain
circumstances.
1. Some of you are probably familiar with the dispute between
Beis Shammai and Beis Hillel: "keitzad merakdim lifnei hakallah
- how does one dance before the bride?" They address the issue of
how to describe the (ugly) kallah to her groom: Beis Hillel
advises one to say "she's beautiful" and Beis Shammai says "be
honest".
The Talmudic commentaries deal with the conflict between the
position of Beis Hillel and the commandments that we mentioned
above. The proposed resolutions are:
- The section in Exodus
refers to perjury (court situations) so that there is no actual
commandment prohibiting lying in general;
- The beauty is the
bride's insides, her good deeds;
- shalom (peace) is an
overriding factor.
(Note: (a) does not mean that we can lie indiscriminately. There
are plenty of sources on a more Rabbinic level that extoll the
virtues of truth as a Jewish value.)
2. The other case discussed in the Talmud involves someone who
has purchased an item at a "no exchanges, no returns" market. The
Talmud instructs us to say that it's a nice buy, regardless of
what it is in reality. In fact, unlike the "keitzad merakdim"
case, ALL authorities agree that the friend should compliment the
purchase. (The Tosafos suggest that in case (1) perhaps Beis
Shammai did not want to make a public ruling advocating a lie,
though perhaps the rationale of either (a) or (c) is applicable.)
Both of these cases show that truth is not always the deciding
factor in ethical Jewish speech. In fact, the definition of
Lashon Hara does not reflect truth or falsehood at all, but the
damage that it can inflict.
But sometimes we speak Lashon Hara because we forget that in many
cases, truth can be subjective (like "beauty is in the eye of the
beholder") or elusive, in that we don't always know the whole
picture.
One of the most fundamental commandments related to the subject
of Lashon Hara is Leviticus 19:15 - "B'tzedek tishpot amitecha,"
in righteousness shall you judge your kinsman. This verse
commands us to give the benefit of the doubt.
Very often there are situations in which several "stories" are
possible. In the case of a G-d fearing person, we are expected
to judge favorably, even to believe that there may have been
facts of which we were not aware. Often gossip reflects a
denial of the possibility of mitigating circumstances, that can
shed light on the person's intentions or other background
information.
It is my personal goal, in giving this list, to raise my own
awareness of situations in which I want to "think twice" before
I speak (or judge). I would be interested to know what some of
your goals are, as well as any specific topics that you would
like to see covered in this list.
