The Woman of Tekoa
A Proper Use of Personal Talent
The following essay continues our exploration of the quality of wisdom
embodied by the women in the Book of Samuel. This installment covers a
figure referred to as, "the woman from Tekoa." Tekoa, a city south of
Bethlehem, was renowned for its olive oil. In Torah, olive oil represents
wisdom. Thus, Tekoa was also famous for smart people.
The woman from Tekoa plays an important role in a complicated story that
involves Amnon, Tamar, Absalom, king David, and the king's army general Joab.
Amnon and Tamar are brother and sister by the same father - king David - but
with different mothers. Absalom is Amnon and Tamar's brother. Amnon forces
Tamar into relations, and Absalom takes revenge by killing Amnon. Absalom
then flees (II Samuel 13:10-39).
Several years later, king David is somewhat reconciled to Amnon's death, but
still longs to see Absalom, given that he knows he is still alive. At the
same time, the king realizes that Absalom would have to face any legal
repercussions of his crime, should he return to his father, king David. The
king's longing to see his son remains unfulfilled, since he hesitates to
bring Absalom back due to the complexities of the situation, and to his own
fear that, as Absalom's father, he might not be a judge capable of
objectivity. Joab, general of David's army, recognizes his sovereign's
distress and, convinced that Absalom does not deserve to be put to death,
contrives a plan whereby David might with an easier conscience recall
Absalom. Towards this end, Joab sends for the "wise" woman from Tekoa, and
tells her to appear before the king:
"If you please, pretend to be a mourner. Wear garments of mourning and do
not annoint yourself with oil; be like this for many days as a woman mourning
over a dead person. Then come before the king and speak these words to
him...And Joab put the words into her mouth" (II Samuel 14: 2-3).
Commentaries to II Samuel (14:3), "And Joab put the words into her mouth,"
suggest that, in addition to suggesting the woman of Tekoa present herself as
a woman in mourning, Joab explains to her David's predicament and the reasons
why Absalom does not legally deserve to be put to death. Beyond this
information, Joab leaves to her discretion the exact words to use in
addressing the king, as well as her replies to his questions. That Joab
trusts the woman of Tekoa to this extent suggests her strength as a diplomat
and the depth of her instinct, self- possession and intelligence.
When the woman from Tekoa appears before David, she recounts to him a
fictitious story she has created about the murder of one of her sons by
another son. She intends for the story to mirror David's situation with
Absalom and Amnon and hopes that, in hearing it, David will be able to
evaluate his own comparable circumstances in a more objective way, and will
ultimately ease his own misery by bringing home his exiled son.
With the fictitious tale of her own woes, the woman of Tekoa requests that
David protect her surviving son from the blood revenge of the rest of the
"In truth, I am a widowed woman, my husband has died. Your maidservent had
two sons. They quarreled in the field, and there was no rescuer between
them. One struck the other and killed him. Now behold! The entire family
rose up against your maidservant and said, "Hand down the one who struck his
brother and we shall put him to death, for the life of his brother whom he
murdered..." (II Samuel 14: 5-7).
Once David assures the woman from Tekoa that he will protect her son, she
confronts the king with the fact that he has not extended the same
custodianship to Absalom, and that his own judgement of her case mandates he
reconcile with his own son:
"Let the king not say now that he was mistaken, in order for the king not to
return his own banished one" (II Samuel 14:13).
As a result of the woman from Tekoa's effort, king David does bring back
While the woman of Tekoa handles a difficult situation with extraordinary
skill and sensitivity, in the end, one of her most enduring accomplishment is
not so much what she does, but the fact that she is not afraid to do it. In
appearing before the sovereign of her generation, she remains clear and
courageous. Her strength comes from a commitment to doing the right thing
at all costs, and this state of mind supercedes fear. Still, her fortitude
does not satisfactorily explain why the text refers to her as, "wise."
Wisdom, as defined by Torah, is the ability to harness one's God-given
talents for the good. The Torah interpretation of wisdom includes
conventional benchmarks such as high IQ, shrewdness or business savvy, only
insofar as these assets are used in beneficial ways. Accordingly, the Torah
might use the word "sophisticated," to describe a banker who becomes
successful through illegal business dealings, however, he would never be
referred to as wise. On the other hand, the Torah would describe as "wise" a
pauper who invests one dollar, intending to use even a small capital gain for
his family, for charity or for another worthwhile cause.
Torah wisdom also involves maintaining a balance between the opposite
extremes embedded in one's personality. With generosity or its opposite
selfishness, for example, neither quality can be considered intrinsically
good or bad. Too much generosity can cause its recipient to become greedy or
unappreciative, where the same degree of generosity can in another situations
be extremely beneficial. Thus, depending upon any particular situation,
one opposite or the other is to a given extent useful, while the remaining
side is not. Wisdom is then the ability to assess which and how much of one
side should be put forward - and at what optimal time.
According to Torah standards, therefore, the woman of Tekoa is clearly
"wise." By involving herself in king David's dilemma, she is uses her
strength of character for a good cause and in meeting with David she
navigates between the polar extremes of decisive and passive that are the
hallmark of any successful diplomat.
That the woman of Tekoa has the imagination and insight to come up with a
parable so close to king David's reality is impressive enough. More
impressive, however, is her ability to articulate the parable for the king,
within what must have been the intimidating setting of his royal court.
Action, therefore, is a key part of the woman from Tekoa's wisdom. Without
action, her ingenious parable would have been useless. As it happens,
however, she provokes a fittingly active response from king David, who has
heretofore chosen not to act upon his desire to recall Absalom back from
exile. David's inaction has until his encounter with the woman of Tekoa been
the proper choice. Since David suspects he may not be able to remain
objective when it comes to judging his own son's case, and this subjectivity
would be illegal according to Torah.
The woman from Tekoa - in recounting a version of the king's own story -
gives David an opportunity to judge in an impartial manner, what is
essentially his son's case. Upon gaining the objectivity he needs, through
her parable, David's legitimate inaction now becomes inappropriate, because
his own subjectivity - the obstacle to calling his son home - has been
eliminated. Here is a striking illustration of how each side in a pair of
opposites - in this case action and inaction - can be right or wrong
depending upon the situation.
Like the woman of Tekoa, we are challenged at almost every turn to resolve
the many conflicting factors behind life's choices. Often, only our
determination to do the right thing enables us to avoid the many detours that
lead to an easier way out. The woman of Tekoa chose to take on a difficult
mission, because she understood that her own contribution might be critical
in producing the desired positive result. For this reason, she was willing
to put aside her own personal fears and instead focus on applying the best of
herself to the task at hand.
The woman of Tekoa extends herself beyond personal limitations, to a place
where she may instead maximize her strengths in positive ways. From her we
may learn how to do the most with our assets, while at the same time taking a
second look at the potential that lies within our perceived liabilities.
Women in Judaism, Copyright (c) 2002 by Mrs. Leah Kohn and Project Genesis, Inc.
HAAZINU AND ELUL / ROSH HASHANAH:
Doing Our Part
Rabbi Pinchas Winston - 5771
Moshe's Final Song
Rabbi Berel Wein - 5770
The Healer Is On-Call
Rabbi Yochanan Zweig - 5770
How Close Is Hashem to Us?
Rabbi Yosef Kalatzky - 5763
The Bond that Ties - Prayer
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5756
Overlook It When You've Been Wronged
Rabbi Yisroel Ciner - 5759
Heaven and Earth
Shlomo Katz - 5773
A Time to Remember and Be Inspired
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5757
Play It Again, Shmuel
Rabbi Pinchas Winston - 5759
A Slice of Time with Honey on the Side
Rabbi Pinchas Winston - 5757
Poor Beginning, Wealthy End
Rabbi Yisroel Ciner - 5760
Rabbi Label Lam - 5774
Elul: A Month of Preparation
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5758
The Ultimate Contact
Rabbi Naftali Reich - 5770
Love Out of Fear
Shlomo Katz - 5760
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5760